When seeking a mom-tribe; do not be afraid that you’re the only mom who’s child didn’t wear socks to school. Do not think that the spit up stain on your tee shirt will be a turn off. Don’t worry about your financial differences, don’t worry about the way you might not look or act like them. Maybe you have tattoos and none of them do. Maybe you have a history that you think they’ll be absolutely disgusted by. Maybe you are ashamed that your kids throw a tantrum at every hint of the word “no.”
When seeking your mom-tribe you will, without a doubt be riddled with all the worries. What if they don’t like you!?!?!
Wanna know a secret??
They have the exact same concerns.
In high school we were divided by cliques, and although sometimes you find women who still subscribe to that way of thinking, most women aren’t about that life…. they do however worry that you ARE about that life. This is why you struggle making friends at playgrounds. But what I’ve found is that becoming a mother gives you an automatic membership to the most diverse clique of all….
The MOM LIFE clique. These women, of all shapes, sizes, colors, backgrounds all have one thing in common and that’s a deep, intimate understanding of what mothers all around the world experience.
So when you look for your mom tribe or village or crew, don’t fret! Don’t even bother putting jeans on!! Just put yourself out there, exchange numbers and horror stories about poop. Before you know it you’ll have a whole group of wonderful mommies who will support you through troubled times, help you pull together your 6th graders homework at 11pm, and they will love you in the way you need to be loved.
If you are hiring me to be your doula, be sure to ask me where I found my tribe. They’re always taking new mama members.
Also- remember one of the BIGGEST things that you will need after a baby is FRIENDS who get it.